What is conflict and how does it arise? A disagreement in opinion? Different ways of approaching the same task? Different directions in which people want to take a project? Conflict can come in many different forms. All conflict follows a similar pattern. It starts with an action or words form Person A; Person B perceives this action or words in a certain way, they then have feelings about what was said or done and respond with words or actions. At this point the conflict can stop! But what usually happens is Person A has a perception and feelings about what Person B said, responds and the cycle starts again.
To stop the conflict one person must stop reacting and start taking responsibility. They must reflect and respond rather than react. They must stop the endless cycle of anger and address the underlying fear/hurt in order for both parties to be able to move on.
Below are some response strategies to stop the reacting cycle and move forward.
If your conflict is with a high D
· Be firm and direct
· Focus on actions and goals
· Ask 'what' questions'
· Expect them to challenge and debate
If your conflict is with a high I
· Be informal, friendly and positive
· Focus on expression of feelings
· Ask 'who' types of questions
· Expect them to shift the blame
If your conflict is with a high S
· Be non-threatening and patient
· Focus on preserving harmony and stability
· Ask 'how' types of questions
· Expect them to look for the easy way out
If your conflict is with a high C
· Be factual and non-emotional
· Focus on answering questions
· Ask 'why' types of questions
· Expect them to validate information with third parties